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A CAR OF A DIFFERENT COLOUR

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My old banger metallicaly clatters,
It’s upholstery looks to be in tatters,
I say the heater gave up years ago,
But then I hardly use it in the snow,

It always starts, and it gets me,
(As they say) from A to B,
The paintwork’s scratched to buggery,
By bored young thugs, (twasn’t me!)

The local thieves look down their noses,
“Wouldn’t be seen dead”, one supposes,
On cold winter morns, my neighbours curse,
Their cars won’t start, but even worse,

Into my banger, I hop, with cheery smile,
Start her up, (they’ll be trying a while)
Pulling on choke and letting theirs flood,
Little understanding of what’s under the hood,

They fret and fume, late for work, they’ll be,
And wonder about my banger and me,
My old girl is pristine, under the bonnet,
Engine kept perfect, not what is on it,

So joyriders don’t touch, looking elsewhere,
I could leave her unlocked, and never a care, Her beat up appearance, fools one and all,
But I get where I’m going, with never a stall,

Putting Army training to an unimagined use,
By camouflaging my old caboose,
She’s sweet to drive, as if on rails,
Starts first time, and never fails,

For hours each week, I tinker around,
Tuning her up to pitch perfect sound,
Her tyres are checked and checked again,
She’ll stop on a sixpence, in torrential rain,

Down the road a mile, I stop and shift,
The 2 rattling cans, you’re getting my drift?
Pull off the tatty, old stretch seat covers,
Remove the scratch decals, that live over,
Her polished body, she looks a treat,
I would really love to keep her this neat,

But where I reside, there no safer way,
To ensure that she is mine to stay,
People see what they want to see,
A tatty old banger, a grey haired old me,

Cars get stolen, all the time in my town,
Insurance goes up, and never comes down,
So take a tip from one who practises stealth,
Don’t be a target, because of your wealth,

‘Tat’ up your Roller or Mercedes Benz,
Tell this to no bugger, not even your friends,
If seen as a shambles, unloved and unkempt,
There’s nothing about it, the ‘low lifes’ to tempt,

Poem by Kerris Milligan

Copyright © 2020 Kerris Milligan

WHEN I GROW UP

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When I grow up, what would I like to do?

A tinker, a tailor or I’d work in a zoo?

Um! What would I really like to be?

I might write a book or maybe three

And that would be called a trilogy!

I’d spend my time thinking away

And researching hard most of the day.

I’d get someone to edit and put me straight

The editing would be something I’d hate.

I’d get it published and sell a few,

I’d have a book signing and have a big do!

Yes, a writer is what I’d like to be.

When – I grow up!

Poem by Alex Hudson

Copyright © Alex Hudson 2020

CRITIQUING ETIQUETTE

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To improve our writing, it is necessary to look at it critically, no matter what stage or level we are at. Allowing others to view our writing gets a different perspective on it and also enables the errors that we may have been blind to, to be found and fixed. BUT, opening our writing up to critical comments is TERRIFYING, especially for new writers, so it is imperative that those who choose to post, know what to expect and how to deal with it and those who choose to comment/critique, understand what is useful and what is not.

POSTING YOUR WORK

First things first, when you post your work on any online forum, you are inviting people to view it. If there is a commenting facility, you may find that people post comments about your writing, so, before you post your work, check out these very simple rules:

Make sure that what you post is suitable for where you are posting it. For example, don’t post poetry on a story website, don’t post on a different topic if one has been specified and don’t post adult content on a site that could have children viewing it. 

In other words, use common sense and make sure your post fits where you are posting it.

If there are guidelines on how to lay out your post, follow them.

Check, double-check and check again for spelling and punctuation errors. Make sure that what you share is as good as YOU are able to get it.

Be proud of your work and yourself for having the confidence to share it.

HOW TO COMMENT IN A USEFUL MANNER

Commenting on a fellow writer’s work is not an opportunity to belittle them or point out all the mistakes they have made. This will not help them to grow as a writer and will not encourage them to share their work again.

If you really want to be useful, then please take a kind and encouraging approach.

New writers will make mistakes – often quite a lot, but pointing them all out at once can be overwhelming and confusing, so, I have found that a good approach is to first find something about their writing that is good, or that you like and tell them about it, then pick one or two key things that could be improved. As a writer improves, there will be fewer errors and you can pick up on the more technical errors in their writing.

What should you comment on?

It is good to point out punctuation and grammatical errors, but please do be sure that YOU are correct first.

You could point out where a word is used incorrectly, or the wrong tense or point of view has been used – but only if you are confident that YOU are correct.

Be careful about saying that you don’t like a writer’s style, or subject matter – this is subjective and often more about your own tastes than their skill. Personally, I think it is better not to comment on it. If other people do the same, then the writer will be able to perceive a less enthusiastic reception to their piece of writing through a lack of favourable comments, rather than a host of negative comments. 

Remember the popular saying: if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.

HOW TO RECEIVE COMMENTS AND CRITICISM

Lots of people like to be helpful and supportive and critical comments are a useful way for you to learn what works in your writing and what areas can be improved. The fact that someone has taken the time to read and comment on your work demonstrates that they value your writing, and that is a great thing.

Try not to be embarrassed if they find errors in spelling, punctuation, grammar, tense or point of view. No one is perfect and you WILL improve with experience. Make the changes, learn from it and keep writing.

If someone suggests a better way to write something, do consider what they suggest, but also remember that it is just their own opinion.

Sometimes there are nasty or unhelpful comments on forums and this can be really heart-breaking for a new writer. This is something you will need to get used to, I am sad to say BUT, do not let it stop you – take the good comments and the truly helpful comments to heart, be proud of what you are doing and most importantly, KEEP ON WRITING.

WEEK 6 – LAUNCH INTO POETRY

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One of the most difficult aspects of writing poetry (or indeed anything!) is coming up with a topic or theme.

The following exercise is a fun way to create a poem using inspiration from other people’s words.

The purpose of this exercise is to use words or phrases that you might not have thought of before, therefore expanding your word repertoire and creating a poem with a theme or subject you may not have previously considered.

Found words poetry exercise

Take a selection of books, magazines, technical books – as random as possible. Perhaps do this at the library and delve into sections you might not normally use, such as scientific books, philosophy or even car manuals!

Open each book at any page and select words and phrases that you like the sound of. 

Don’t select to a theme, be completely random and write the words/phrases down from different sources, until you have about twenty in total.

Now, choose the ones you like best (or use all of them if you like) to create your poem. The poem can be any style and you can add your own words around the ‘found’ words and phrases, or just use what you found.

Below is an example of one that I wrote whilst on a poetry workshop doing this very exercise. You can probably tell that most of my preferred phrases came from a magazine with an article about climate change! I added my own words to the found words in this example.

What you might notice in this poem, is the intentional use of alliteration, assonance and consonance (marked in blue), as discussed in week 5.

Penetrate the meniscus

Press a finger through and

Feel the silent WHOOSH

As water greedily

Devours your digit

Fractured blues and hues

Of turquoise puzzle-pieces

Slap and lap and try

To tie you up in weedy knots

Of liquid treachery

A trillion gallons of

Dew and thawing permafrost

Curate their murky ambition

With pharmaceutical fish

Pump the aquifer dry

For supreme magic to purify

The climate-science circles

Of tepid doubts on drought

I would love to see your own ‘found words’ poems, please do feel free to post them in the comments below.

Week 7 - Turning Words into Poetry

WEEK 5 – POETIC DEVICES

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POETIC DEVICES

Literary devices are the techniques you can apply to your writing to control or direct how your reader feels when they read your story. 

Remember, each time you write a story, you are taking your reader on a journey into the life and mind of your characters – you want them to experience it as you see it and you do this with your writing, so the more techniques you can master, the more you can ‘play God’ with the emotions of your reader.

There are some devices more associated with poetry that can be equally utilised in prose to evoke a more ‘romanticised’ or ‘painterly’ feeling to any description.

Make sure you read each of the examples below out-loud so you can hear the effect each technique has on the sentence.

  • Alliteration 

Is the occurrence of the same letter or sound at the beginning of adjacent or closely connected words, such as in; Silly Susan sat silently sizzling sausages.

Or more subtly;

Clouds crowded over the cornfield to form swaying shadows that rattled ominously in the gathering breeze.

  • Assonance

Is like alliteration but, refers to the vowel sounds between syllables of nearby words.

He leaned where the old brick wall had been, falling backwards into the chilly stream. Nancy laughed and reminded herself to make a sign.

  • Consonance

 the recurrence of similar-sounding consonants in close proximity (but not necessarily at the beginning of all the words, because that would be alliteration!)

Caught in static contemplation. (A repetition of the ‘c’ and ‘t’ sounds)

The use of any of these ‘matching sound’ devices can give your sentences an ethereal/dreamy quality, which is particularly good for romantic scenes, descriptions of faraway places and reminiscences.

All of these AND rhyming are also particularly effective when writing for younger children because of the way these sounds ‘roll around the mouth’. For example, everyone has at some point, enjoyed alliterative rhymes such as ‘seven sizzling sausages’ and ‘she sells seashells beside the seashore’. Of course, in writing for adults, the trick is to use these devices in a way that is NOT obvious and does not ‘jar’ the reader, but simply enhances the flow of the sentence.

Poetic devices exercise

Describe an amazing setting – it can be a real or imaginary place. 

Use ‘poetic’ devices like assonance, consonance or alliteration to bring the wonder of the place to life.

Read it back to yourself and make sure that any poetic devices are subtle. 

You do not want them to sound ‘laboured’ or over-done.

AVOID REPETITION OF WORDS, EXCEPT...

If you use the same word several times, in close proximity to each other, it will really stand out to the reader and feel laboured. Always check your writing for repeats and if possible, change second and third repetitions of a word to a different one with the same meaning.

Malone had parked her car in the car park and taken the lift down to the shopping precinct. She felt nervous on her first trip out alone and had nervously looked over her shoulder several times on the way from her car to the precinct.

Use a thesaurus to find good alternative words; MS Word’s inbuilt Thesaurus (select the word you want to change and press SHIFT and F7), download a Thesaurus app for your smartphone or Google ‘Thesaurus’ for an online version.

Malone had parked her car in the multi-story and taken the lift down to the shopping precinct. She felt nervous on her first trip out alone and had anxiously looked over her shoulder several times on the way from her vehicle to the shops.

However, a word can actually be repeated as a literary device – to reiterate a feeling or a sense and to build tension.

The night was clear. She could see the road ahead. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.

The repetition of the word ‘Nothing’ actually makes you feel the opposite – that perhaps there is something to worry about and puts you/the reader on edge.

Repetition can also be used as a stylistic device.

For example:

Gail did not know what was coming. She didn’t know what was coming until it was too late to run…

The trick is, to make conscious decisions about the words and repetitions you use.

Intentional repetitions exercise

Write a paragraph or two for the scenario below, using repetition to make the reader doubt that the young girl is as safe as she believes herself to be:

Celeste is fifteen. She is meeting a man she connected with on Tinder (a dating app). He says he is looking for teenagers to test out a new dating app designed for under eighteens.

I would love to see what you do with the exercises, please do feel free to post them in the comments below.

Get more poetic in Week 6

WEEK 4 – TENSES AND PACE

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TENSES

When writing a story, there are two tense options; PRESENT TENSE and PAST TENSE.

The majority of novels are written in past tense – as in, the action is being recounted after the event. This is a ‘comfortable’ tense to both read and write.

A novel written in Present Tense is happening RIGHT NOW and has a number of pros and cons, which should be considered when using it.

Past Tense example:

The car smelled fusty from the camping gear. I did up my seatbelt and took a deep breath, “This is it, freedom,” I told myself.

A week away, no kids, no work and no commitments. I did a final check; tent, sleeping bag, food…

The kids looked glum, but I was sure they would survive their week with Grandma. Slowly, trying not to seem too eager, I put the car into gear and drove away.

Present Tense example (using the same scene):

The car smells slightly damp, I think the camping gear must be a bit fusty – oh well. I click my seatbelt shut and take a deep breath.

“This is it, freedom,” I tell myself.

I do a final check; tent, sleeping bag, food…wave goodbye to mum and the kids, trying not to acknowledge Lauren and Toby’s glum faces. They’ll survive a week with Grandma…

I jam the car into gear and try not to look too eager as I pull away.

 

Consider carefully whether present tense is the best choice for your story:

Positive aspects 

  • Present tense can feel like a movie
  • Present tense intensifies your connection with character’s emotions
  • Present tense works best in short-time-frame stories with constant action

Negative aspects 

  • Some readers positively HATE present tense
  • Present tense is less flexible because time shifts can be awkward
  • Present tense is tricky to write well and easy to get wrong
  • There is less narration and often, lots of dialogue.

Future tense is a ‘thing’, but difficult to keep up for any writing of length.

Here’s an example of Future Tense (using the same scene as above):

The car will smell damp from the fusty camping gear. I will have to check I have all my equipment; the tent, sleeping bag, food…

I shall acknowledge my freedom and try not to be affected by the glum faces of my children, who will have a great time with grandma.

Then I will drive off slowly, so as not to seem too excited to be free of them for the week.

Past Tense exercise

Using past tense, write a description of a journey that you have already taken.

Use past tense verbs, for example; did, had, ran, saw, watched.

Present Tense exercise

Using present tense, write a description of that same journey, as if you are actually taking it now.

Be very careful to make sure all your verbs are in the present tense – for example; do, have, run, see, watch.

Present Tense exercise 2

Using present tense, write a short story about a character who has just discovered a hidden cave, whilst on a beach in Cornwall.

How do they discover the cave and what is inside it? Don’t forget to describe any smells, sounds or feelings your character experiences.

AND IF YOU REALLY HATE PRESENT TENSE.

Do the same exercise using Past tense – it’s absolutely fine. Focus on describing how your character feels and what they observe.

WRITING PACE

Think about the pace of action in movies. It often moves slowly in a love story, frantically in a thriller, jumps about in a comedy and can be staccato in a horror. You can replicate the same ‘feeling of pace’ with your writing, by changing the lengths of your sentences and therefore the speed and smoothness of your delivery.

Short sentences

  • Short sentences can signify that something may be about to happen and can create the necessary tension leading up the ‘happening’.  
    The night was clear. She could see the road ahead. Nothing to worry about. Nothing at all.
  • A series of super-short sentences can draw the reader’s attention to details of significance. 
    “She meandered down along Oxford Street. Long hair bouncing, non-descript yoga-pants and well-used gym bag. The only detail giving away her status was her watch. Patek Philippe. Calatrava. Alligator strap. Rose gold case. About eighteen thousand pounds.”

In the above example, short sentences are used to depict the features of a particular detail; the expensive watch. The writer has drawn our attention to it for a reason.

 

  • Short, sharp sentences are great for action scenes where there is lots going on simultaneously. You want to provide the reader with ‘glimpses’ of every bit of action in a ‘gun-fire’ manner.
    Jack led them in. Guns fire incessantly. All exits blocked. Troops surrounded them. More explosions. Blood. Pitiful cries. No hope

Long sentences

  • Long sentences are used to develop a slow-burning build-up of tension, unlike short sentence, which bring immediate tension.
  • For ‘painting’ vivid descriptions that draw the reader in, particularly depicting nature, or romantic scenes.

From some points of view, long sentences have become ‘old fashioned’ and boring – this may well be true in many teen/YA novels and ‘chic lit’. I believe this stems from our modern, time-starved, social media-driven lives, in which we only ever read ‘snippets’ of information and many people have lost the will and ability to hold their attention on longer pieces of writing (indeed there is an app that will condense a book into a mere fifteen minutes of key points).

This does not mean you shouldn’t use beautifully constructed, long sentences BUT, that you should have an awareness of the modern reader and the market you are aiming your writing at.

Vary your sentence length

Imagine your reader is floating down a river – sometimes they are meandering through beautiful scenery and having a lovely relaxing time, then occasionally,  they drop into a death-defying rapid, or slide into a patch of choppy water. If you really want to wake your reader up, you can suddenly throw them down a waterfall – metaphorically speaking, of course.

Pace exercise 1

Your character is being chased through a woodland by a man she does not know, write two different versions of the same scene:

  1. First person PoV (I, me, we), short punchy sentences
  2. Third person PoV (she, he, they), with longer, descriptive sentences

Read each scene back, or ask a friend to read them for you. How does the sentence length and PoV affect the scene?

Pace exercise 2

Write a short scene where a main character is waiting to meet someone.

Are they nervous, excited, fearful or angry? Use sentence length to show the feelings of your character in anticipation of this meeting but, don’t tell the reader who they are meeting with – the descriptions should give an indication.

For example – short sentences:

She waited. Walked on the spot to warm her feet. He should be here. He promised he would. Wished she had said no. Footsteps. Too late, he was coming. Heart-beat quickened. Too late to leave now.

For example – long sentences:

She watched patiently, as swathes of commuters, coffee in hand, rushed and brushed past her. It had been nearly thirty-minutes and she was on the verge of leaving, but the thought of seeing him one more time, if only to answer her questions, had kept her glued to the rendezvous point. She caught her breath as she heard a familiar footfall, distinctly audible above the crowd, steadily approaching from behind.

I would love to see what you do with the exercises, please do feel free to post them in the comments below.

Goto Week 5 - Poetic Devices

WEEK 3 – POINT OF VIEW

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POINT OF VIEW

Your protagonist is your reader’s main point of reference and context from which they will understand your story.

In other words, the reader will view your story from the protagonist’s point of view – through their eyes. This is important, because your aim, when writing any story, will be to get the reader reading and to keep them reading to the end and this is done by having a character they can really get to know and hopefully become emotionally invested in.

Some authors use multiple character’s points of view, but usually these are restricted to one per chapter or section and do not switch during that chapter or section.

Changing the point of view is like jumping in and out of different people’s heads, which can be confusing for the reader (if not done well) and distract their interest away from the main character.

Point of view comes in three main varieties: Third person (the most popular), First person (loved by some, hated by others) and Second person (rarely used in novels).

THIRD PERSON POINT OF VIEW

A narrated story, referring to the main character using she, he and they pronouns.

This is the most common point of view in novels. Third Person PoV is also the easiest to write and there are two varieties:

  • Third Person PoV Omniscient – the narrator (author) tells the story from many perspectives because they know the thoughts and feelings of all the characters in the story.
    My book ‘Freen: The First Truth’ is third person omniscient, because although Gem is the main character, the reader is also shown scenes where Gem is not present and therefore, the narrator becomes ‘all knowing’.

  • Third Person PoV Limited – similar to First Person, but more detached, the narrator tells the story from the perspective of only the main character.
    The ‘Harry Potter’ books are third person limited, because we only see what Harry sees, so if the author needs to show us the past, she uses a device, such as Harry seeing into the past through the ‘pensieve’, or overhearing conversations he should not be party to, hidden under the ‘invisibility cloak’.’

FIRST PERSON POINT OF VIEW

The main character is the narrator, using I, we and me pronouns.

The main character tells the story to the reader. This makes it trickier for the author to show what other characters get up to, unless the main character actually witnesses or hears about them. It does however, lend a great deal of intimacy to the story because you are seeing things directly through the eyes of the narrator/main character. 

The very popular book Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman is a good example of a novel written in first person.

Here is an extract from my novella ‘Crime and Cremation’, which is also written in first person point of view:

“It’s fine, the fuse is always blowing, it happened to me, like, three times last week,” I lie.

Then we both hear the noise, but this time it is coming from my dad’s study. Bloody cat! I grab one of Mum’s candles, the one she thinks is far too pretty to use and casually light it.

SECOND PERSON POINT OF VIEW

The reader is the main character, using the pronouns you!

You are the main character in the story – although the author is telling you what you did and thought. Very few novels are written in second person because it is extremely difficult to do well and from a reader’s point of view, it almost feels like you are being ‘directed’ in a play.

Below is an example of second person narrative:

You open the door, expecting it to be your withering mother, but no, you find yourself face-to-face with a scarlet-faced teenager. Holding a gun.

You don’t know what to do, and the split second you take to consider your options proves to be the undoing of you.

Another example of second person are the ‘Choose Your Own Adventure‘ books by Edward Packard, that were popular in the 1980s, where you had to choose what happened next at each point.

First Person Point of View exercise

Liam is stuck on a train. 

He had to work late again because it is the only way to keep on top of his work-load and ensure he meets his deadlines. 

He has two younger executives snapping at his heels for his job; which is precarious under the latest management re-shuffle.

The train that Liam is on is Southern Rail – so it is indefinitely delayed. He promised to help his wife Lisa move the bed around in the spare room so that her parents could come and stay next week. There is no phone signal to call Lisa to let her know he is on his way home and he forgot to call her before he left the office. It is 9.45pm.

Write a couple of paragraphs on Liam’s frustration from his own perspective, using First Person PoV.

For example: I couldn’t believe it, NO PHONE SIGNAL and I was three hours later than I said I would be…

Third Person Point of View exercise

Lisa is beginning to wonder if her husband (Liam, above) is having an affair. She is a busy school teacher in a tiny village school and she doesn’t get out of their village very often, so she has very little understanding of commuting and working in a business environment.

Write a couple of paragraphs about Lisa’s worries, from her own perspective, using Third Person PoV.

For example: Lisa kept checking her messages, but there was nothing from Liam, where could he be, she wondered…

A 'BADDIES' POINT OF VIEW

OK, so not technically a PoV – more a perspective.

Most stories are not from the view point of a ‘bad’ person. If there is a ‘bad person, then the story will often be from the view point of one of their victims, because a reader will be sympathetic to a victim – they can relate to or at least understand their anguish and will generally want to root for them.

It is harder to invest your precious reading time on a character you despise or cannot relate to in any way.

If you do want to write from the point of view of the ‘baddie’, then you will need to give them some likeable, or at the very least, relatable characteristics. It may be that they have a deeper purpose that is essentially moralistic or good, or a backstory that explains their actions and allows the reader to sympathise with them.

If they are the main protagonist of the story, you need to give your reader something to ‘buy into’ – a reason to want to follow their story.

  • A film example of this is the Robin, Prince of Thieves movie, starring Kevin Costner. The baddie, played by Alan Rickman was evil and despicable and yet he is a much loved character. Why? Possibly because we were shown his backstory – a hint at the awful childhood he must have had with a wicked witch for a mother – suddenly, we can see why he is the way he is and we have empathy.
  • Another film example is the Karate Kid – this is an unusual situation, in that the Bully and the Victim were clearly defined in the film and yet, fans of the movie point out that in reality, the Victim was actually bullying the Bully and that the Bully was, at many times, actually the Victim, BUT because it was filmed from the PoV of the Victim (the Karate Kid), we only see it from one side.
    Interestingly a TV series, following the original characters as adults, takes this on board and is filmed from two separate and equal points of view. Of course, this can also work in a book.
  • (NOTE:  the TV series is on YouTube and called Cobra Kai)

Third Person Point of View exercise

Write a 500 word story from the perspective of a ‘baddie’. What characteristics will endear them to the reader? Perhaps the ‘victim’ can be a complete ‘pain in the neck’ and thoroughly unlikeable. Use First or Third person point of view.

CHARACTER PROFILES

Stories often feature characters who are clearly good, or blatantly bad but, if this was their only attribute, they would be ‘flat’ and uninteresting. People are complex and even the best people have negative points and vice-versa.

Here are a couple of example ‘character profiles’, with good and bad points in different proportions and other characteristics, like hobbies and appearance to complete the profile.

 

 A ‘Bad’ person (more negative than positive):
Name:Georgina Larson
Description:

Tiny, Welsh, Long-blonde hair, very beautiful. Loud voice. Forever flicking her hair out of her eyes.

Job:Children’s tennis coach
Hobbies:All sports and mountain climbing. Partying
Negative:Likes to argue with everyone
Negative:Very vain
Negative:Opinionated and unfiltered
Negative:Lazy with anything she doesn’t fancy doing
Positive:Is an excellent tennis coach
Positive:Is really kind and helpful to her elderly neighbour
 A ‘Good’ person (more positive than negative):
Name:Alicia Bento
Description:

Tall, mixed race –Japanese and English. Dark, shoulder-length hair. Quietly spoken and smiles a lot. Should wear glasses, but doesn’t, consequently squints when trying to read anything.

Job:Trainee architect
Hobbies:Wind-surfing, reading and salsa dancing
Positive:Friendly and open to everyone
Positive:Helps her single sister with her children
Positive:Always very punctual and reliable
Positive:Really good cook
Negative:Gets flustered easily
Negative:Atrociously bad driver

Create character profiles and keep your them to hand when you are writing longer pieces, so you are consistent in your treatment of them. They don’t need to be specifically labelled as ‘good’ or ‘bad’, unless you want to.

You can do Character Profile sheets for all the characters in your story, or just the main ones – it is up to you. Some writing software even lets you create these within their system, but a notebook, folder or spreadsheet is perfectly adequate too.

A useful way to keep your main characters in mind, is to find an image on the internet of someone who looks like you imagine your character would, print it out and stick it to your character profile page, or on a pin-board above where you write.

 

Character profile exercise 1

Create character profiles for up to five characters. Try to select a range of ages, ethnicities. They can be all good, all bad or a mix – it is up to you.

Download Character Profile template here.

Character profile exercise 2

Use your character profiles to create a story of up to 1500 words, where your five characters are brought together in an unusual location or circumstance, for example; a desert island ship-wreck, the funeral of a mutual friend, a puppy-training class, or a disaster at a theme-park.

Refer to your profile sheets so that you are consistent with your characters’ traits and how they might interact with each other in the story.

Which one will be the main character?  This is the person whose perspective we see the story from and what PoV will you use?

I would love to see what you do with the exercises, please do feel free to post them in the comments below.

Jump to Week 4 (Tenses and Pace)

WEEK 2 – WRITING DIALOGUE

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WHAT DOES DIALOGUE DO FOR A STORY?

Dialogue (or speech) has many important functions within a story. 

Look back at any book you have read and ask of any piece of dialogue, “How did that help progress the story, or my understanding of the characters?”

  • Dialogue adds ‘voice’ to a story
  • Breaks up the monotony of the author’s voice
  • Can be used to move a story along
  • Can show different points of view about a situation
  • Allows the author to reveal more information about the characters

CONVERSATION GENRES

Authors are by nature, extremely interested in other people’s conversations (to put it bluntly – we are nosey). When you listen in on conversations, especially in a coffee shop, pub, the school gate, etc.… you begin to realise that conversations have their own distinct genres (categories/types).

Here are some of my own silly suggestions for the conversation genres you are likely to hear, and I am sure you could think of a few more:

  • Banal coffee-shop banter
  • School-gate gossip
  • Furtive-teenage whisperings
  • Frantic-family yelling
  • Couple-jousting
  • Relationship-breakdown shouting
  • Life and death level despair
  • Angry strangers arguing
  • One-sided romancing
  • Romantic-duelling
  • Steamy blush-inducing
  • Old-time innuendo
  • Information sharing
  • Situation-controlling
  • Evil/mal intent coercion
  • Dastardly plotting

LISTEN AND TAKE NOTES

Make a point of listening to the conversations going on around you and note the differences in the way people speak.

Make sure you listen to different age groups to get a feel for how differently they use language – particularly teenagers, who can sound like they are speaking in code. 

If you choose to write about teens, be aware that their slang-words and aspects of their language change more often than their socks and getting it wrong in your story can completely alienate them and invalidate your story, so – as with accents, use teen-speak sparingly.

Make notes about:

  • Use of language – is it formal, casual or colloquial (everyday)?
  • The speed at which different people speak
  • What words are frequently repeated, and by whom?
  • How do different (foreign and regional) accents make English words sound?
  • Some people have unusual intonations or pitch uses (the highs and lows of sentences) – listen to where they occur in their sentences.
  • Pay particular attention to the start of conversations, before the ‘meaty’ bit. Are there a random thoughts, half-sentences, niceties (how are you, you’re looking well, nice weather, etc…).
Can you ‘categorise’ the conversation genre (as above)? 

Conversation genre exercise

Write a short conversation between two characters (they can be made up or based on people you have listened to) using one of the ‘fun conversation genres’ above. Try to give each character a consistent and authentic voice – in other words, use the sort of words and phrasing that character would use.

QUICK DIALOGUE FORMATTING RECAP

I have called this a recap because you probably already covered this in school, although some of the rules have relaxed a little as we become more ‘Americanised’ and publishers will have preferences which may differ from your usual use, depending on the audience and ‘house style’.

UK versus USA

Should you use single or double speech (or quote) marks for speech?

Well, it depends on which country you are writing in or for, and yours or your publisher’s preferences. The main thing is to be consistent. If you use double quotes for direct speech (dialogue), you should then use single quotes for indirect speech (quotes). See what popular books in the genre you want to write in use.

  • Use speech marks around the words each character speaks.
    “I’m going to the match,”  Juliette said.
    (NOTE: The underlined text ‘he/she/they said’ is often referred to as the ‘dialogue tag’)
  • Begin a new paragraph each time a different person speaks – this makes it clear to the reader when the speaker has changed.
    “I hate football,” said Emily.
    “Really? I can’t understand why,” said James.
    “It’s a bunch of men kicking a bag of wind.”
    “It’s more exciting than shopping.”
  • When breaking a sentence with a dialogue tag, if the second part of dialogue is a continuation of the first sentence, use a comma after the dialogue tag and do not capitalize the first letter of the second piece of dialogue.
    “I can’t help it,” Jack said, “it’s just the way I am.”

But if it is a new sentence (by the same person), use a full-stop after the dialogue tag and start the second sentence with a capital letter.
“I don’t know,” Jack said. “By the way, how is your sister doing?”

 

  • Dialogue should end with a full-stop (inside the speech marks) if it is the end of the line, or a comma if a dialogue tag follows.
    “That could be fun,” said Frank.Jack shouted, “For goodness sake, do be quiet.”
  • When dialogue ends in a question or exclamation mark, dialogue tags that follow still start in lower case.
    “What’s new?” she asked.
  • If the dialogue ends with an ellipsis (…), you don’t need to add any other punctuation.
    “If that’s what you really want…” her voice faltering.
  • If your character quotes someone else, then use single quotation marks. (Or vice-versa if using single quotes for the dialogue.)
    “But my mum specifically said, I must be ‘IN THE HOUSE’ by midnight, so I have to leave NOW.”

WRITING GOOD DIALOGUE

Avoid making characters tell each other things they already know.

The example below will sound unrealistic and forced:

“How long have we been married, Janet?”

“Well, we got married in Toronto in 2010, so that’s almost ten years.”

You don’t want the reader to know that you are using the dialogue to impart information, so you need to make the information-dumping more sneaky and less ‘in your face’. For example, the important information you need your reader to know is that they married in Toronto, ten years ago, so make something of it and make sure it sounds authentic, so the reader doesn’t feel like they are being ‘informed’.

“Ken and Helen are going to Toronto for their honeymoon – I think they’re staying in that awful hotel next to the one we got married in.”

“Did you tell them it was a dump?”

“I didn’t have the heart – besides, that was over ten years ago, hopefully it’s improved.”

Dialogue exercise 1

Two couples; Gita and Sunil, Arthur and Suzanne, are at a party together. Gita is a police officer and her husband writes crime thrillers, whilst working part-time as a solicitor. They have recently adopted Gita’s twin nieces after her sister passed away. Arthur is an architect and he has two grown up children. Arthur and Suzanne are expecting their first child together and live part-time in France.

The reader does not yet know any of the above information.

Write a short conversation between the characters to give the reader an insight into them.

You don’t need to give all the information and you can include other characters. Do remember to SHOW not TELL.

Don’t enter a scene at the start of a conversation.

Enter a conversation as late as you can because in written dialogue, you don’t need the ‘niceties’ of normal conversation:

“Hi Jess, how are you?”
“I’m good Sue, how are the kids?”
“Oh, you know, it’s all go in our house – did you ever get that patio finished?”
“Not yet, we had a bit of an issue with it.”
“Oh, what was that?”
“Well, we dug up a set of human bones – they’re investigating them.”

The reader wants to get straight to the ‘meat’ of the conversation:

Sue placed her coffee on the slightly sticky table, put her hands to her temples and took a deep breath.
“Oh Jess, it’s been horrible – Dave dug up the old patio and found remains.”
“Human remains?”
“The police think so – they’ve taken over our entire garden.”

It might feel like you are missing out vital parts of normal conversation – and you are, but think of it like this…. if you were listening in on a conversation (perhaps your parent’s, when you were a child) at what point would your ears ‘prick up’ and start to take notice? That is the part your written dialogue should start at, so that you get your reader’s attention and don’t bore them.

Dialogue exercise 2

Melanie bumps into a friend at the supermarket she hasn’t seen for many years. Melanie married a billionaire, who has just been jailed on suspicion of serious fraud.

The reader does not yet know any of the above information.

Write a short conversation between the two characters. Remember to dive straight into the interesting part of the conversation. You can write an opening paragraph to describe them meeting again for the first time and then get straight to the point.

Use ‘Action Beats’ to enrich your dialogue.

Action Beats are the short descriptions of action before, between or after dialogue. They can minimise or even negate the need for dialogue tags, whilst still making it clear who is speaking and also giving a sense of the characters’ emotional state and the setting:

Alex steadied herself, placing a hand softly on Sam’s cheek, “They’ve found her.”
“And…?”
“She’s alive – just.”
“Oh, thank God.” Sam collapsed into Alex’s arms.

Using action beats instead of dialogue tags can also increase the pace of your dialogue, creating a sense of urgency, tension, or even panic.

Dialogue exercise 3

Beatrice has been kidnapped, Tom is speaking to the police officer.

Write the conversation between Tom and the Police officer as he explains what has happened to his daughter.

Use action beats to minimise your use of dialogue tags, to show the pace and urgency of the conversation and describe the emotional state of Tom and how the police officer reacts to him.

Keep your dialogue tags simple.

‘She said’ or ‘he said’ is often perfectly adequate for denoting dialogue. Too many adverbs in dialogue tags (for example, nervously, dejectedly, mournfully) can distract from the actual speech. Instead, to infer how the words are spoken, you can use a character’s actions to demonstrate their mood and emotion to the reader.

Rather than stating how the words are said:
“It’s alright now,” she whispered softly.

You could infer the tone through her actions:
Sally bent down and tenderly pushed a stray hair from the child’s ear, “It’s alright now,” she said.

That’s not to say you should not use different verbs and adverbs, such as ‘she shrieked’, ‘he admonished’, ‘they wailed helplessly’, etc… just don’t over-use them – less is more powerful.

Dialogue exercise 4

Replace ‘she wailed dejectedly’ in the dialogue below with ‘she said’ and add a sentence to describe your character’s mood, action or feelings to show the reader how Felicity says her dialogue instead.

“I couldn’t reach him,” she wailed dejectedly.

Or create your own piece of dialogue with actions, instead of adverbs to denote how the words are delivered.

Use dialogue to reveal information about your characters.

You might need to tell your reader certain bits of information about your character’s personality or characteristics – things that are necessary to the story, or to the reader’s understanding of the character and their actions but, long sections of narrative can be off-putting and dull. A more interesting way to tell your reader about your character is to reveal that information through conversation.

For example, instead of telling your reader a character has had a limited education, you could make this clear through the things he says:

“Do you want the spaghetti carbonara or the burger?” asked Joe.
“I don’t eat nothing I can’t spell,” said Jack.

What can you tell about Maria’s life and how does Jean feel about it?

“How can you stand to watch that tv show? It’s so not like that!” Maria admonished.
“Because some of us haven’t ever lived the Californian dream,” hissed Jean.

The family below are probably struggling for money, but resourceful.

“Mum, you need to fix the zipper again, and the inside of the pocket has another hole.”
“Pop it on the side,” said Martha, “I’ve got your dad’s best socks to darn first.”

Dialogue exercise 5

Write conversations between Emily and any other characters you wish to add in the situation detailed below. The dialogue should reveal that Emily is medically trained, but currently unemployed.

Emily is in the same shop as Georgia, but does not know her. She sees Georgia become unwell.

Continue the story from the following sentence:

Georgia slumped against the shop counter, her legs went weak and she felt herself begin to fall…

Always try to speak your dialogue aloud.

Test your dialogue – if it is ‘clunky’, it will not flow and you will find it difficult to get the sentences out, or it might be repetitive, or worse still – boring.

 If you have a willing friend (or friendly writing group), ask them to read your dialogue so that you can listen to it. This is important, because dialogue sounds entirely different when read aloud, than it does in your head.

A QUICK NOTE ABOUT AUTHENTIC ACCENTS

Language is important for portraying regional and foreign accents. It can also denote age, social group, education, situation and mood, but when writing an accent, just use the bare minimum – less is most definitely more, or it will become too difficult to read.

I would love to see what you do with the exercise, please do feel free to post them in the comments below.

And on to ...Week 3

JOURNAL OF FREITOUS

by

A short science-fiction story (Kindle)

Freitous is just about habitable, if you are taller than the Pelsopher – but when a new ship lands in the middle of the night, Official Documenter, Garb becomes suspicious about the motives of the strange Earthling Captain and his plans to harvest the planet’s most useless resource.

WHAT MADE ME WRITE IT?

This was the first long piece of writing that I did, and my first piece of science fiction.

I had decided that I wanted to write a novel, but having never written a creative fiction piece of more than a thousand words before, I thought it best to ‘do it by degrees’ and to start with 6000, then write bigger and bigger stories.

Why scifi? Well, what I really wanted to write was something about vampires or the paranormal (I have a very unhealthy obsession with this kind of stuff), but that seemed too obvious (I don’t know why, that’s just how my sadistic brain works), so scifi seemed suitably out of my comfort zone – although I am equally obsessed with alien conspiracies, I did not feel I had the ‘geek’ credentials to write authentic scifi – I did however, really like Star Trek.

You will probably get the idea, as you get to know me, that I tend not to take the easiest or most obvious route to anything.

So, anyway, I sat down one day and got writing, without a plot or any idea other than it had to be big and it had to be ‘off-planet’. I think it only took me about three days to write and edit (I’m a Virgo, I go back and edit every paragraph as I write – I don’t recommend it, unless you are also a Virgo).

I gave what I wrote to my husband to read (he really isn’t into reading, so if he liked it, that would be quite a thing. He is also super critical – he won’t say it’s great just to be nice, he is honest TO A FAULT). Well, his actual words were, “I couldn’t put it down,” and that wasn’t just because I stood over him and made sure he didn’t put it down!

I was pleased and decided that I wouldn’t bother with the whole idea of writing bigger and bigger stories and I would just go straight for a whole novel, after all, if I could write 6000 words, then ten times that probably wouldn’t be that big a deal.

I was such an idiot!

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